Omishan

this is the land of confusion

2007-01-31T20:18:33Z

now this is going to be a private entry so i guess i could write whatever i want but then again i might end up showing someone but then again i may actually want the person to see it... hmmm we shall see....

well today i was in town and all was good went to my training...then came and sat in Starbucks with folk and had a mint mocha frappachino..

which was Awsome as usual but then i started thinking this use to be a me and dani thing!!!! which it was everyday she would buy me one!!
then i went all Qiuet and such!! Grrrr
then i decided to leave starsbuck and sit round borders on my own i sat there with my head hung low and only lifting it up from time to time to see if i could see dani.. but then i thought to myself she will be wanting a day to herself due to it being her day off college..

so i just continued sitting there with my head hung low...only at a couple of points did i smile!! and that was because i thought of things that i remembered (private things)

i know fine well if i show to dani she is going to go insane cause i am getting all obsessed again.. well i am not it is that i still miss her soooooooo much

BUT

i have promised myself that i am going to give her the time she needs and if at the end of it she does not see us being together then that is fine!! but untill then i am waiting for her!! with hope!!

anyways i have been cheered up by dani herself so this entry is not longer needed goodbye!!

everything falls to dust

2007-01-23T22:59:36Z

everything was so good everything was swell but then i lifted it tooo high and everything fell to dust crumbling everything around me everything surrounding the daylight within my solar brought crashing back to reality, nothing last foreverwhen everything is short lived, i guess with me everything is short lived...dani short lived =( my job short lived =(, my flat short lived =( no doubt some friendships will be destroyed due to this i know for a fact sin and div are going to totally hate, i even thought dani was going to take it bad but she did not she is surportting me i personally think she is mad at the same time as thinking she is just brilliant for doing so....

i asked my mum if i could move back but she said maybe which in mothers terms is no.. but hey maybe when i ask her for a straight answer she will say yes but i doubt that Extremely very much

Haaaappppy haaapppy saaad

2006-11-11T16:49:53Z

hey everyone how are you all i am ok i guess i am going to talk about things that get to me and things that i let get to me...i am also going to touch on a little sudject called TRUST....

TRUST is seems like a wierd thing to talk about considering, i TRUST dani with all my life i have no doubt about that..

but i do NOT TRUST myself i mean i TRUST myself not to cheat on dani and i trust myself not to do anything stupid but i do not TRUST myself at all...i know it does not make sense to readers but in my head it is rather worrying

one thing i do know is that i am not the happiest person in the world at the moment i feel everything is slowly slipping away from me

these days i never feel like listen to metal i find myself listening to depressive songs.... i can barely listen to stone sour - through the glass or stone sour - zzxyz rd...

music has always been the biggest part of my life there is no life without dani or music and that sounds sad but it is true

music use to be my seranity and escape form the big bad world out there now it feels like it is my death... songs never use to make me cry no matter how bad i feel in the past years and a half music has been making my eyes sting on and off...

i cry so much now that i feel that it is fake within myself.... twice this week i have found myself going to the toilet and crying my eyes to shreds...
i am typing this here cos as far as i know dani does not read this ...

tears seem to be all i can do

it's been a while since i could stand on my own two feet but am i ready?

2006-11-05T16:41:39Z

Hello everyone,

this journal entry is going to be a bit wierd but i am doing soul searching at the moment trying to figure out who i am but i need to write down every single feeling going round and round in my head.....

i am nothing... to me i am the biggest problem in this world i am no better then the scum that ruin this world.. i am no better then the ppl at war.. and worst of all i am worse then my father before me..aka my actual father...

i am tainted... i am a pawn to myself... i am disguisting... i am a violator... i am the man that should be shot...

i had a dream that this was life..
but now this is just reality...

everything i do has an element of screw up in it..

i want to do right but maybe sometimes that right is just fucking wrong....
but maybe it is so right that i force the cards to turn wrong
or maybe that right was never meant to be..

i once saw my face in the mirror now i see nothing more then my father staring back at my..bleeding fucking face..

no re-construction of persona will ever fix that...

no change in humour is repair the hidden damage i have caused even if it is internal

this damn life is worth nothing without the one thing(although not a thing)
that is my dream my eternal promise of till the death...

i will be the man i can be but notihng more can be drawn from something that is soo poisoned.......

break me down..

tell me i will be fine
but sadly this time i wont be fine
no pill will fix this untill death is forced upon my hand

i am sorry for being a violator....

i am sorry for the pressure....

i am sorry for being me....

understand that this was never meant to be..
this was not meant to break..
but remember i am still here waiting for you
will you wait on me??

or is this the final mercenary cry...

i am a monster... i am a piece of the scum

it has been a while since i can say i love me as well as you

but only yesterday i said i hate myself...

this makes me so unhappy but
but the person i the happy in my life...

i just wish i was not her sad...

the scum that haunts me everyday
my past will never escape
but this time i am becoming my past

falling asleep and i cant see straight..

i am only here for a while but that while is maybe to long...

i am ready to live with my family but they dont even want me

i'm still too tired to care but i care too much

or maybe not enough......

ok i have done enough writting it is time to post it

it must be love love love

2006-10-28T18:49:59Z

hey guys bet you didn't think i would post in here again well alot has happened i am in lvoe with the most awsome person in the world named dani ^.^ she is an awsome person granted we have had our ups and down but that is not for here i am going to keep this journal my happy place and considering dani makes me happy she belongs in here more then anything ^.^ i met her at a party in which lasted for two weeks and we have been going out ever since mwahaha anyways that is all i had better say just now i got to go shave cos i am wanting to look my best for wen dani gets home ^.^ mwahaha love you dani even though you dont know this exists lol

by by everyone

long time no speak

2006-04-07T09:40:37Z

hey guys and girls how you all doing? iam great been doing great for awhile now still have my moments but everyone does i am a father now ushla gave birth on the 12th of march HE was healthy boy we named him charles james (CJ) on the 4th of april he passed his hearing screening with flying colours and anyone who knows me will know why that is important to me. i the 21st i met this girl called georgena and at first we never talked much but that all changed by the end of the night we were pulling....gtg

Nightmares To Kill

2005-07-31T14:14:52Z

hey everyone,

i woke up at 10 to 6 in the morning again...i cant kep doing that.....that is why i went back to my bed Chaz....and the reason i snapped is because i had a Nightmare that scared the shit outta me.....which i am going to explain....

me and ushla were going to my mum's house cos my mum wanted to speak to us.....
and when we got off the train at town...i was hit by a ned which was fine...we just continued to progress to my mum's house....so we decided to get a train to patterton train station and walk to the rest of my mum's Patterton is a train station in newton mearns but still 30mins from my mum's....while we were walking up to the Avenue shopping centre near my mumn's house ushla stepped out on the road and got hit by a car......so i started crying and phoned an ambulance....when we got to the hospital we found out that ushla had lost the child and i started blaming her.......tht is the time i woke up...i couldn't believe it... i cant believe i blamed ushla i would never do that.....but the bit tht scared me the was the losing the child.....i know it is like UNlikely it is going to happen but they are still about 1001 problem tht could go wrong and all of them are going round my head....

ushla if you read this then i am sorry and i know that i am worrying for nothing but like you sed i am one of the most paraniod ppl in the world!!!

i wish this was not in the case

plus ushla...we need to talk about sumthing else that gordon said to me.....
i dont know if you wouls like it but i did say i would tell you what he sed if you wanted to know and this is just sumthing tht is preyijgon my mind......

ok i am going to go agian.... i hope you enjoy the reading cos i didn't enjoy typing... my body is aching and hands and fingers all feel numb.... i can barely type i am typing so slow...

Keep safe
Buzz bye
From Omishan "Eddie" Fear

ALL NEW BUT PLAIN CHANGE

2005-07-21T04:24:00Z

hey everyone how r u all doing? i am not bad finally got XP installed into this computer took me the whole day, but was well worth the wait, i dont normally use XP but atm it is the only thing making this heap of junk work... at a normal speed..............hehehehehehe

not much to report i guess ushla is fine and as far as we know baby is fine to ^_^ she should be having her first scan soon hmmm.. i wonder how many scan pics you can get cos i want the world to see!!!!

i am still hoping it is a boy but me and ush are arguing over the name if it is a boy.....i want it to be called one of the following:

James
Jake
Auron
Saul
Tyson
Leo
franklin
or
marco

but she is not for having any of it accept Leo but she got to pick the first name if it is a girl so ithought i could pick the first of the boy adn she gets to pick the middle name...... ^_^

we have decided that if it is a girl we are calling her: Paige Alexandria Presley

Paige - ush's choice
Alexandria - My choice
Presley - Ush's second name

hehehehe

ok as you can see (hopefully) i have changed my LJ layout this is cos i was getting bored with the other one and at the moment i dont want anything fancy so i found this nice and plain layout and wahooo changed the colour a bit and look wat we have today

just now it is 5am and i woke up @ roughly 12am i fell asleep while watching a DVD chilling out in the room away from everyone cos i had been snapping at ppl aday and did not want to do so
so hear i am now bright as a button not wanting to go to sleep which means my sleeping pattern is fucked
LOLOLOL

was watching a badly made sci-fi piece of crap...sounded good on the box but did not live up to expectations....hehe

ok now i am just rambling on wahoooo ooooh well this is my journal and no one else and if i dont go hyper i will go sad so i am staying as hyper as possible untill i feel i am tired enough to go to bed at watever time tht may be at!!!!

wahoooo hehehehehe......

run rabbit run rabbit run run run here comes the farmer wioth his gun gun gun(8)

was tlaking to this guy today on slsk then i found out tht this dude was from FINLAND!!!! turn out he is a massive Guns n' roses fan and also luv Velvet Revolver and Slash's Snakepit!!!!!! he is like a major finnish slash fan!!!! wahoooo how fucking good is tht!! so then slsk waws failing all his download from me! and so i added him to my msn and sent him a file @ 45.000KB 0.0 big mutha f'n file.....lol ack did not take tht long just a tad boring but then i asked him to teach me finnish words like translate then and this is wat is got out of it "Poista tämä tuska edes päiväksi" which means "take this pain away even for one day" =)
and he taught me a bunch of other stuff but i closed the window and lost it so i am going to get him to send me the convo we had!! so i can get the words!... hopefully he still has it would hate to bother him again

i have decided that in town i am going to stop asking my mates for money unless it is an emergency like need train fare or sumthing like tht...not just foir stupid things...and hopefully my mum will beb able to give ,me money to live on this week.....

i spoke to my gran the other day to tell her about me going to be a daddy and she just sed i have wasted my life....and also my granpa asked wen me adn ush were getting married =|=|=| i was shocked but expecting it....

which leaves me to mention this i am sitting watching scuzz thinking about going to my bed but i now i wont sleep....untill i am tired!! i hate wen i fall asleep during films!! maybe i should just stop watching the crap ones and maybe get a bit of GORE on i mean have any of uses EVER seen Passion of the christ???? OMFG it is in (ok i am going to take a guess but i hope i dont offend) jewish or sumthing like tht i think tht is wat they talked or at least sum did!!
and it is like 2and a half - 3hours of nothing but jesus getting beat up... i mena i respect the way the man died and all that but really was shocking made me think aobut his death!!! i would ahve hated to die like tht!! ok i am oign to stop before i start getting all religous on you adn i am like one of the most unreligous dude ever!!!!! i believe but dont follow!

ok i think i am going to go just now and maybe rest my head and hope to sleep

infact hold tht thought Velvet Revolver - Fall To Piece is on the TV i am going nowhere!!!!!!! hehehehehehehehe

(8)fall to pieces, i'm falling, fell to pieces and i'm still falling, everytime am falling down, all alone i fall to pieces, (8)

ok right i am going to exit LJ and start shutting down now tht way hen the song is finished i can just go to my bed!!
Keep Safe
Buzz Bye
From Edward "Omishan "Slash_idol" Fear" Barron

P.S. i think tht name gets longer as it goes on

hehehehe

bye for now,...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................insert your name here............................
.........................................................................................................before you fall apart............................
.........................................................................................................before you find the lies.........................

choices choices

2005-07-18T07:07:27Z

hmmm....hello everyone one.....

how are you all?

i am majorly fucking confused...

i wanted to go with alana but she sed no which i undderstand

but then there is ushla who i got pregnant.. amd she thinks we could make a go of things together as a couple...but i am not sure..i mean yeah i would love to go out with her but there would be a million and one complications as to why it just wouldn't work!! or maybe it would work who knows cos i dont.....maybe i should take the chance cos i have nothing to lose anymore well i kinda do i dont wanna ever lose contact to my child! i just couldn't do tht not the way my father did with me.....

i guess if i went with ushla it would be like happy familes for a while but for how long? i dont wanna go with her and then have it all go wrong 3,4,5 weeks down the line.....i am no longer just looking for a bit of fun i am looking for sumone to settle down with at the end of the day....come home and be like happy familes....i just dont know what to do everything is soo fucked up!!!!!.. *sighs* but at the end of the day i guess i have to do what is right by me adn ush adn the child...well technically children...cos if me and ushla were to go out there is no way i would leave angel out....it would not be fair on her.....i mean chaz brought up the best point yet......if i do get a house then i will need two beds in one room.....becos if i have my child over i cant leave angel becos that would not be fair on anyone....especially angel becos think about it.. everytime i take my chuild out angel will be thinking wat about me and i dont want that!!....

ok i am going to go just now cos i am going to think about all this and what the hell i am going to do!!....keep safe buzz bye From Omishan

omishan @ 2005-07-15T21:40:00

2005-07-15T21:19:20Z

hey everyone how you all doing?

i amgoing to add a couple of my songs that i have writing within the last couple of weeks
i hope you like them

Eternal Pain
Verse 1
nothing here to heal me, forgive me,
everyone was so free, forgive me,
i ruined this light, this pain, this fear.
maybe chains unbreakable will once again bind me
you could fill that viod and teach me, FORGIVE ME

Chorus
Eternal Pain Devouring me
eating me, breaking me,

Verse 2
Take this pain Away, no more
Hold me with your chains, Never let me go
Never Let me Free, it's you that haunts inside of me
never understanding this future, or my broken Past

Chorus
Eternal Pain Devouring me
eating me, Breaking me
bind me with you chains
tonight will be like never before
when you kill me with your time

losing hope finding emotion

2005-07-11T09:22:59Z

7 years and finally i know it is you i have been kraven.......

This is sooo annoying..... i cant be feeling butterflies can i?

these nightmares became dreams these flurtting became more now i live under the sun lapping it up becos i say it may be sooo

eat me up live my life one day as one, together we'll fight

born upon the ocean forever oceanborn

a night life thunder a day like lighting neverending story neverending faith

once there was, now there isn't, everything fell..right in front of me!!

she, she she she is my one and only two maybe a 3 no certainly a one

i never felt a feeling like this i never felt a hatred dissappear like this we became so closer under the sun..

her touch, her taste her kraving strong to me

can you hear me? do u want me? do u feel a butterfly roaming in you stomach

These are a few oof the thing i have thought up in the lasat few days since saturday!!

each one has it own meaning a couple have the same meaning but yeah each one has a mening behind it i made them cryptic only a few will find out what these mean

ok bubaiu keep safe buzz bye

when nothing is worth a damn

2005-06-30T11:54:42Z

hey everyone, well this is going to be an intresting post cause i have so much i want to say and so much i need to get off of my chest!!!

some ppl will no and some ppl will not know but everything has a factor of fear in it!! some ppl would call this normal and some ppl would call this stupid! but everything i do is Fear in a way i am fear!!

i mean i have in fear that i will let baker down and that this will all fail cos of me or something i do!! it always happens!!......

he is such a fucking great guy he is soo understanding no matter the situation and i believe he would run to hell and back for me he is my BROTHER and nothing will change in my mind!! but soon he will see me for who i am and that is my biggest fear!!!..cause i dont wanna lose him as a friend and at the same time i dont wanna fuck him about!!

i have a job interview sumtime this week awaiting the woman phoning me back!!! and if i get the job it will be brilliant... but like usual i will last the job for 1-3month then quit it is the way i do things i think i can manage and then once i quit i find out that i cant manage!! >_____< i will TRY my HARDEST to keep this job IF IF IF IF IF i get it!!! but i will fail it is what i am set to do1!!!

another thing that is bothering me is that i have changed so much i remember a time when i never smoked(13), never drank(17), never touched hash(17) these use to be strong opinions of mine and now it is as if they dont matter >__<
i remember a time when people use to look up to me!! now i think they look down to me!!

i use to be a king in glasgow now i am nothing but a mear pawn!!
a small part of this is because new ppl have came to the galz since i started going!!! and also ppl have started to find out who i am!!!!.....but i believe the main reason is because i have changed so much!!! so damn much

i know alot of ppl tht will read this will be thinking i am just attention seeking but see it this way.... THIS IS MY JOURNAL, no one forced you to read this no one sed READ now!!!!

WELL i am outty

Keep safe
Buzz bye
From Omishan Fear

could i make it work or could i flop in everyway cos i am me!!??

2005-06-28T21:29:02Z

hey everyone....tis me again this is going to be a long post so i hope you have time to read it... ^_^

like everyone i have plans for the future!!! sum are dreams some will stay dream some will change into reality.... but now you have to ask yourself can it be done would it work? am i smart enough to follow on these plans??

next month i am moving in with my long time friends now BAKER!! he is moving up form birmingham,
But without a job this plan will fail before it has been given a chance
i got word back form the Hilton hotel today telling me that i was not chossen for an interview >.< :'(

ooh well i can only keep trying!

me and baker also decided a few more things today as well he is going to build my computer for me ^_^..
and we are going to buy a server together!!... the one i was looking at was pricey but i think it is worth it!!

here are the specs for it!!!:::

CPU: AMD Athlon 2400
Monthly Fee: £123.00
setup Fee: £0
Hard Disks: 160GB (1x40gb, 1x120gb (+16.00) (+18.00setup)
Bandwidth: 500gb
Network Uplink: 100mbps (+£9.00)
IP addys: 13 (+13.00)
O/S: CentOS
C/Panel: Cpanel (+26.00)
Totalling to a huge: 173.50per Month

if we get this sorted out i have such big plans for my share!!!!
i will be setting up Omishan Network - this would be my name for hosting i would set the hosting up and then continue on to setting up my own form of websites....
one of them being: Omishan Designs - my graphics wesite!! i also have alot of different plans but i am not sharing these until i have them got a plan set up properly!!

my graphics site once i get my own server will be changing From a freeware site to a charged site!! so hopfully by this time my graphics will have gotten much better and a lot more professional looking!!

untill i get all the server bizness setup i am planning on buying myself a large amount of Web Space from StartLogic.com the specs are as follows:
Space: 500Megs (5GIG)
Domain: Free - (i am hoping to get Omishan-net.com only because Omishan.com has already been taken >.<)
E-mail: Unlimited
C/Panel: VDeck2.0
Web Traffic Transfer - 100GIG
Money back garuntee: 30days
Purchase Price - $7.99
Main Feature - Email Access, Power Plugin's ^_^ and visitor stats... plus i loads more...

as you can see i have alot of plans once i set my home with baker up!! ^_^ after that it is going to be head down and The main part will be teaching me and baker how to control a Server ^_^ >.< i have decided to learn once i have the server that way i can learn and try at the same time i find it will be great practise! ^_^
it is totally up to baker how he wants to learn!!!

i have to talk to baker alot more about this cos i have another idea but it is sumthing that will be needed to kept under the cover untill me and baker A) have talked it over and B) sorted our living enviroments ^_^.....

so as you can all see i have got so much on i am keeping myself busy and so if you think i have not been talking to you much it is because i have my reason i have been planning stuff like this for AGES!!!! and well this is me finally getting it all thought out in my head and well i have had long night thinking about what i want to do with my life and i have decided that i can not wait about waiting for the rest of my band to sort themselves out while i am getting older and poorer!! so i must think of a plan incase music fall's through! so that is why i have come up with sumthing i like and such ^_^ ^_^

ok well i am going to head just now! and sort out more stuff on this i am going to log off comp and write up and full proof plan!! on paper! and fill in any application forms i have but i figure that if i get the server plan up in writting it will look more professional and also it will make them more easier to read by ppl cos i am going to see some people that help ppl setup a bizness and they will help you EVERY step of the way!

another reason for this means i am my own boss i can do what i want i will never have to take orders!!! i am also thinking about going back to college to learn more skill to do with computers that i may need! ^_^

find me under the sunlight

2005-06-21T21:02:02Z

this is a little song i wrote today it has been awhile since i wrote a song i thought i might type it up for all to see!!!

Find Me Under The Sun

By Eddie Barron (Omishan)

Verse1
so deep, so cold, so drain from hatred
pull me close and pick at my wounds
rip me to pieces untill you laugh
torn apart so far from the heart
i am nothing but your slave with,
no escape....

Chorus
find me under the sun ,
as far from you as can be
safe in the arms of myself

Verse2
looking back you never cared,
using me as the anger of your past,
hating me, the one that was weak..
now i know that you were my ego
it was my past you hated...

Chorus
find me under the sun
as far from you as can be
safe in the arms of myself

Verse3
fighting you is never an option
mentally you tear me down
you pull me apart, in you heart
now i am your puppet, lost for eternity

Chorus
Find me under the sun
as far from you as can be
safe in the arms of myself

Interlude: (w/ music)
nightmare's not over
you still lie there
silently dead scaring my life
you death saved me but now i krave,
krave for my hated against myself
you were never the problem
it......was......MEEEEeeeeee

Chorus -x2
Find me under the sun
as far from you as can be
safe in the arms of myself

The END

Disclaimer: all rights to Eddie "Omishan" Barron and ZiNNuZ

hope you like it feel free to comment!

omishan @ 2005-06-20T01:13:00

2005-06-20T00:41:45Z

how many ppl have looked at a pic of me with long hair and thought what has happened to that eddie what happened to the eddie that you could talk to and could confide in nowadays i can barely confide in myself i am in more shit then i can handle...

all i do is smoke cannabis and tht is not helping cos i spend most of my time stoned and when i am not stoned i take para attacks! even over the smallest little thing! but weed is the only thing keep me in an understandable calming persona!!! but all this drug abuse is tearing me apart cos half my friends dont know who i am anymore! :(..
i just want everything to be the way it was before 16 FEB 2004....
back then everything was soo perfect!! everyone has sum sort of respect for me know i feel no one does!! but wat can poor old eddie doing about it!!
..

i rmember wen i first came to glasgow all those years ago!! no one knew me yet i managed to get ALMOST everyone to like me!! my name was like gold round the Galz!! now it is more like dirt! my lies and deciet have hurt to many ppl!! everything i do is for a reason i have only got to find tht reason now

**||**||**||IF I HAVE EVER BEEN NASTY OR IF I HAVE EVER HURT YOU I AM SORRY I NEVER MEAN TO DO WAT I DO I GUESS I AM JUST A BAD PERSON HIDING BEHIND HIS PERSONA||**||**||**

ok now i am going to list the major bands i have seen live i think it will lighten the moment cos if i go on anymore i will sho myself!!

iron maiden, velvet revolver x2, the distillers x2, download scotland 2004 (machine head, the distillers, iggy pop *CRAP*, lost prophets, linkin park, nightwish, deicide, dio, and loads more!!

i am going to go just now i have stuff to do! and alot to think about i will post this link into my msn incase anyone wishes to read this sad entry i am such a sad man with a sad persona and sumthing tht is hidden for life

Keep Safe
Buzz Bye
From Eddie xXx

made by meh!!!

2005-06-17T13:32:14Z

i dont it i completed a layout my first in ages!!!!!!

tht is thwe main graphic on thew website it was made by me owned by me and well it is my own design!!!!!!!! ^_____^

Omishan Designs

please look at layout and comment on it here!!!!

i will be adding more layouts, banners, and general graphics to it as time goes on!!

Baker is a co-webmaster on the site

we will be also doing a premium section where ppl can pay for custom items made by your SPECS!! ^_^^_^

i hope u like the website!!!!!

P.S if you know anyone tht could give me a job! please email me or leave a comment

Keep Safe!
Buzz Bye!
From Eddie Barron xXx

have you ever?....

2005-06-09T06:01:00Z

hey everyone been so long but i am not going to go through past let me take you to the present day

life is ok... not much going on HAHA wot a lie
not bgeen home in two weeks... no reason for it i just dont wanna go home
i walked out on my job and now they are screwing me over by not paying me which means unless i get the money today i am not going to see Velvet Revolver
which is FUCKING PISSING ME OFF BIG STYLE.... i am going thwere today and if i dont get sum sort of money i am going to kick major ass...... cos i need tht money for food and stuff as well!!!

i have fell for a girl again!! i have known her for 2 years and well she wont go out with me cos it wuold make things complicated between us and also her Ex-B/F would MURDER me cos A)they have just split up B)he is like a good bud of mine... but i cant help the way i feel and it is hurting so much i thought i had learned my lesson wit marri, i swore after marri i would not fuck things up and i also swore i would not try and move things to fast but this person like knows me more then anyone in this world and by going out with her would just screw up our friendship but i am willing to take the chance but she is not.... wat can i do?????

i am finding it hard to sleep again...i dont know what is wrong but there must be sumthing on my mind cos i normally sleep brilliantly!! and well am not...

i think tht is all i want to say

Keep safe!
Buzz bye!
From Eddie Barron

me taking quizzes

2005-02-26T11:22:06Z

Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Cocktail

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

You are the bad boy / girl of your school. You
have little faith in yourself and usually find
escape in some sort of addicting substance or
yourself. You would rather torture others
above anything else. You regularly skip
school and when you go, always tend to ditch a
certain class. Some classmates can fear you
while others pity you...and your family. (No
offense) Your cruel behavior and abject
personality tends to single you out from the
crowd...and you prefer life this way at times.
However, lonliness can rear its ugly head and
force you seek a way to silence it. But be
warned, your path is dangerous... but only a
strong person can walk this road.

Some
ideal occupations for you can be a Police
officer, Celebrity (who doesn't love the
badasses?), Wrestler, Polotician, or some sort
of leader. Either way, your destined to be
known by many.

What type of teenager are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Bondage Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

all about me!!!! i think maybe it is about you (points)

2005-02-19T04:58:16Z

hey everyone for the first time in 6-7months i wrote a new song and i am sooo proud of it that i am going to post it here and you guys can rate it by commenting and giving it a mark out of 10
0= worst thing ever read, 10= best thing ever read.............. btw i have yet to name it and i am leaving it up to who ever comments!

ok here goes!

Verse 1
i woke to find the words of a deadman,
i fall only on command, my pain is for you,
my healing comes only on the day of calming death,
my pain is you, thou vow is not enough to scream my love
holding you voice will always be there, but holding your body will not

chorus
no chance of the silent touch, no more pain without your face,
i held you in the locked chamber of my heart,
retracing your moves for my eternal comfort

Verse 2
i seen my life in a book, lied to for a fantasy
nobody's soul lost in time for your love
a lovers poem is not enough to heal the hand you fell into,
burned by love of a bueatiful soul,
and forever more burning for more

chorus
no chance of the silent touch, no more pain without your face,
i held you in the locked chamber of my heart,
retracing your moves for my eternal comfort

Verse 3females sing this verse
i seen your scars, the one's on invisiable skin
my words are not of a deadmean, but only words of a lost soul
my love is for you but not in my control

chorus
no chance of the silent touch, no more pain without your face,
i held you in the locked chamber of my heart,
retracing your moves for my eternal comfort

SUB
re-united to an eternal world, living in peace,
forever our souls entering the palms of harmony

chorus
no chance of the silent touch, no more pain without your face,
i held you in the locked chamber of my heart,
retracing your moves for my eternal comfort

that is my song feel free to rate it as you wish and name it as you wish!!!

Keep Safe!
Buzz bye!
From Eddie "omishan" Barron

p.s. everyone just too let you all know the name of my band has changed from "omishan warriors" to "ocean tears"

the line-up just now is looking like this:

male vocals: Eddie "omishan" Barron
Female vocals: ?????? yet to be decided but i will asking ppl all in due time
Lead & acoustic guitars: paul watson
rythmm & acoustic guitars: Tam
Bassist: Stuart moore
Drums: Div M

and to keep you up to date "ocean tears" may be be joining forces with stuarts moore's(bassitst) band "metroblitz" to create either "oceanblitz" or "metro tears"
but nothing has been finallised yet i am still in talks with stuart to see if there would be any potential in the idea! but in my outgoing opinion at the moment it is looking likely i will keep you all updated as news break!
plus if all goes to plan i will have the band first website and domain setup by the end of the month but again nothing can be final at this minute!!

currently this is our schedule is:

this month i am writting material for the demo overdue demo
march we will be in the studio most of the time putting music to the lyrics!
and if all goes to plan and if the band can come up with the money we will be going into the studio AGAIN but this time to record

please keep in mind that these timne are only estimate and NOTHING has been finallised yet!!!

these are only time i want thing to be done by and this time i mean buziness! ^_^

ok i am off now *waves*
keep safe!
buzz bye!
From Eddie "Omishan" Barron X-2

sitting wonder who i am!

2005-02-12T03:14:55Z

hey everyone how you all doing long time no post for me! i dont even know if ppl still come here to check on my posts i guess not it has been a long time since i last updated here! i could be boring and just put hundreds of shit in about the things that i have been doing! but i am only going to put the most important in

1) i saw Velvet Revolver play in august! and i stood RIGHT next to SLASH :D:D >_< it was awsome untill i got taken away to the medic room cos i took a panic attack but i did get to see slash play "slither solo" RIGHT infront of my eyes! and they covered "sex type thing" "use to love her (but i had to kill her)" and "it's so easy" it was an awsome gig all in all i give it a ten out of ten :D:D:D:D

2) i saw velvet revolver AGAIN stu had to buy my ticket on the day 40 fucking pounds it cost me OMG it was worth every single penny! i was so happy! this time they covered "sex type thing" "use to love (but i had to kill her)" "it's so easy" and "mr brownstone" it was sooooooooooooooooo much better i dont know if there is a better man alive than slash i just dont think it is possible! :D!!! i give it a 4million out of 10

3) i have a new girlfriend her name is Kim so is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D

that is a basic round up of my life without JL or INTERNET

must be off i have a lot to catch up on! love you all from Omishan

poeple DONT have to worry

2004-10-12T00:32:50Z

ok guys been a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNG time since i last posted here mainly cos i dont have a chouse to put my comp in and i dont have a working computer

i am at my friends house just now tht is why i am able to type here!
and i dont really want to type here but i need to get something off of my chest!

ppl have been worrying about me as of late and the only thing i have to say is DONT WORRY i am fine i will be fine and nothing is going to happen to me!

ok so i drink alcohol now soo fuck!
i still dont agree on the stuff but you only live once! and the way i have been feeling latly the alcohol has been keeping me calm mostly! aND SO FUCK F I SMOKE CANNABIS, hash, weed, grass, ganja... tht to is the only thing keeping me from going off the rail!

and another thing that i want to talk about is my happiness cos as of late happiness is just not in my body! and i cant deal with anyone telling me stuff! like oooh eddie dont do this dont do that cos i am just not going to listen anymore! it is my life! and it is time i started making decision for myself! i have to learn sumtime! what better time then now! cos i dont want to be known is the guy everyone walks all over!

and marri you say i have changed well i have to be nasty and i hope it does not sound nasty but you have changed to and most of the new you i dont like! but you dont see me saying stuff! (untill now) do you know why? i will tell you why i dont want to hurt you! i love you! and well i will stick by you no matter what cos you a CLOSE friend to me and i hope i am the same to you but i just dont know anymore! , i mean i heard sumthing about you today that really made me look at you in a total different way.....i could not believe wat i heard! and please dont ask me what it is cos i Promised i would not say anything so me writing this is actually too much so now i am going to mmove on t0o i different story completyl! bye!!!

well as many of you may or may not know! i am currently been sofa surfing in ppl houses! and shit like that! cos i got evicted from my flat! and my mum will not let me stay at her house! which means i am completely screwed! therefore leaving me with no place to stay!

infact i am going to be completely 100% honest right now! i feel like shit! i have done for the last! 7-8weeks! sum have noticed! some dont care! some are just a little slow\!

either i am back to the point in my life where i just want to curl up in to a ball and just basically die! cos i cant take this anymore! the only ppl keeping me alive at the moment in sue, sarah, charlotte, and natz! the rest just dont mean anything at the moment! plz do NOT take this a bad way i get like this all the time! but the dying part i am deadly serious about cos i cant take it i feel ilike i have failed everyone including myself!

fuck it am off! BYE

FUCK HATE MYSELF EVEN MORE NOW!!!!!!

2004-08-03T22:35:32Z

ok i had this big long HUGE entry then i pushed the wropng fucking button and now it is allgone so let me type it again but i am shortening it miles and miles!!

ok here it is!!

i love marri but she has martin i am hurt but she is happy and that is all that matters!
then hthere is kitty who i cant goout with cos i love marri and i dont want toled kitty on! cos i hate hurting ppl! i have had enough! my dad is back in the scence but wont come near wen i am in the house!....

i tihnk this guy likes me but i refuseto mention his ane!
i want tokiill mike!

i am soo fucking paraniod that i am think everyone is talking about me orlaughing at me and i hate it!

i am just soo fucked up no one truely understands me apart from the dead!

i dont want to die if that is wat you are thinking now!!!!

this is just my plee forlove fucked upas it may be! i love marri and i cant get her out of my head and i cant even post this in my msn addy cos martina and marri will see it

BUBAI

this is my time not my time

2004-07-27T19:14:40Z

"Gravenimage" by "Sonata Arctica"

We met that night, when the sea ran high
And I craved for more of that near love experience
Those who the music hath then joined together,
Are now but asunder…

Remember me, when I lit the fire
To Keep us warm
On a cold winter morning
Now I pass through the moment
Can I still recognize a beautiful melody…

I play a note, but hear no sound
Have I lost my love or the wings I found
When I was young…

…and eager to please anyone who had time…

Needed to sing the very notes I heard
Had to stay in the shadows and seek for the loneliness
Nevertheless, the price was higher than I realized
I was to live alone, ready to make the sacrifice
Was I in love with you…

My old heart, little harder again
Once the light goes out, everything ends
It is time…
Ready to cause a scene, ready to make the sacrifice
Ready to play the note, ready to end the final show
The only thing I know

The Pain is here
To stay I fear
In my eyes
I can change one note and make you cry
In this state of mind
Silence is a crime

How can life be so feigned and cold
I´ve answered the call of every melody, lovingly
Did I find the answers to all my questions

Or a Gravenimage of me…

If I found the hidden fountain
Drank the wisdom from it´s deep
Would I have the time to save me
Would I have them both to keep

sick of it all

2004-07-25T08:06:49Z

hey everyno.one,
how r u all? i am ok i guess! this is just a quick post!
the name of my band "Eternal Flame" is no longer our name cos sumone else has taken it!
so we have changed our name too "Eternal Frost"
soo enjoy it and weep!

BUBAI

as a world would be if no love did flow in me!

2004-07-22T00:40:24Z

in a world where ppl die for the anger of other do we feeland love in our souls?

how can ppl be in love when the dying are getting killed allfor otherppl's anger

exactly! to have the love and passion angermust flow in thee! and there for sets out and equal balance!!

the same with death and life!

for every new life there is a death and every death there but be new life..

this is what keeps the world turning! this is what the world has become! it is the cycle of unknown

i just want to be with someone that can make me happy is that too much to ask for?

not known is worse then being let alone

feedom is just the beginning of death

as you gradually grow older you become wiser and more aware of the things around you and the things that you have missed out on! but that does not mean to say you should not enjoy what you had

time can be the greatest healer but only if you let the time dwell on you and you dont dwell on it!

a night of the full moon brings lovein the heart to be warmer!

never get told you =cant be what your dream is! just trust your heart1 work hard for it! and never give up on it! but always make sure you have somthing to fall back on! a second trade incase everytihng goes pear shaped!

these are just some random words i have built up i sed a few of them to marium! and i tihnk she kind of worried aobut me! marium if you are reading this then i am sorry!

he is some stuff about me!

Name: Eddie "barr" Barron
known as: Oceanborn, Omishan, Sbegging
age: 17
love: music and marri
hates: nick, fake to the music ppl
food: anything edible and nice
drink: Dr Pepper
smoke?: yes
Drink alcohol: HELL NO
take drugs: just weed! but i am stopping
fav band(s): Guns n' Roses, Nightwish, dragonforce, CoB, stratovarius etc
hate band(s): limp bizkit, 50cent, busted
nice ppl i know: marium, lauren:D, marri :D:D:(L), sarah, nat, natnat, nintwa, vangs, baker list is endless
hate ppl i know: nick nick nick, g'n'r haters! well not all, fake the the music ppl

ok i am done know

Keep safe!
buzz bye!
From Omishan!